What’s wrong with still being single?

You can smell my rage, right? Yup, I was a bit in rage. I mean why my status was considered like a disease. Well, actually I don’t need to be like that if I am really okay. Why was I so easily provoked by his comments? And wasn’t I the one who asked for his opinion in the first place? I just can’t stand reading his comments.

            As usual he appeared out of the blue and we said hi. He asked about my condition and I told him about my current condition. “I was in daze,” I said to him. The cause was my writing and it made my head dizzy. He added that I should have made it simple. My reply was I would love to but I couldn’t stop my thoughts from pouring down. Suddenly he said that why I still remained single. Wait! What’s the connection between me finding hard to stop my thoughts which kept pouring down and being single? I better put his true words here but I will not show his ID.

HE: you may think of all condition to find the future half

HE: but there is no a perfection one for u

HE: my view about marrige…i think it’s a job to find the lalf who can fill in your rest of lalf

HE: ….half

Me: what’s the connection with my stories i am working on? so i am here working on traveling book and the other one is about diary kind of thing.

HE: and then …should make a one together living

HE: someday u will get know

Me : hmmm

HE: here in korea, a lot of old single women

HE: they usually think they have a good condition

HE: buut other one don’t think that

HE: it’s an icon.

HE: they someday give up their self-confidence

HE:  same icon

HE: but they get old a lot about then

HE: can’t help giving up

HE: another icon

HE: i see you getting old day in the pix after day

HE: sorry to say that

HE: icon again

HE: but i wanna give you a good advice as your friend

HE: so i dare mention about it

Me : so what’s the advice?

HE: try to find an ordinary one

HE: it’s best way

HE: who is open-minded and good mind

Me: ordinary one?

HE: yes

Me: define the word ordinary

HE: not rich , just normal appearance,

HE: and one who can goes with you till die

HE: but the one could be a special one according to your attitude of life

HE: and can support each other

HE: for the goal of lofe

HE: …life

HE: etc

Me: that’s exactly what i am looking for and it’s not ordinary

Me: cause not all men are ready for that in the end

Me: at first they might say like that

HE: i think you have a strict view on it

HE: so you can’t accept such normal conditions

Me: but when the wife demands for a little bit air to breathe, they will show you the obligation of a wife

HE: that can’t help it

Me : what you are saying “and one who can goes with you till die but the one could be a special one according to your attitude of life and can support each other for the goal of life” that’s want i want. Me : that’s what i am looking for and what i want

Me : the problem is will the man do as you said

Me: ?

Me: that’s what i am longing to find

HE: you may can’t find under the your view

HE: icon

Then he suddenly said he had to go said good bye because he would go out. He left me with a very uncomfortable feeling. Why is it so wrong being a single at my age now? Is it some kind a filthy plague? Do all women have to be married at the exact age according to your thought because as soon as you’re getting older man will stay away from you? Is it seriously an advice? What is ordinary man anyway? Why does your definition of ordinary have to do with not rich and not handsome? Do you feel insecure till you maybe classify yourself as the ordinary man according to your definition? Is it me who is having problem with his definition of ordinary? If he’s next words about ordinary man is “one who can be with you till you die and the one who can be a special person according to my thought and can support each other for the goal of life” I don’t think he’s just an ordinary man. That kind of man is extraordinary to me.

Oh, why did I get hassled by his words? Didn’t I say I am okay still being single? Didn’t I say I am cool and enjoying my life? Then why did I get annoyed by his words? Maybe I am not okay after all. I thought I am okay till everybody seems too worried about me. They gave horrible stories about being single on my age. “You know it will be hard for you to find man. You know you will be having hard time in getting pregnant, etc.” No, comforting words anyone? I always believe everybody has their own path in life. My course of life took me wondering around and blessed with having a chance to see some of my dreams came true. And because my course isn’t as straight as yours “university, graduate, get married and have children”, I have to work harder and own extra patience to be finally in the same course as yours. All I ask is for your understanding and support, please.

Haircut sensation

Haircut is just a haircut. What’s got to do with sensation? Yesterday for me was like my first time again visiting hair salon. I didn’t recall when was the last time I sat in front of the mirror watching my hair being cut and getting curious how it’s going to look like. Years….yes, it’s been years since the last time I went to hair salon. It’s not that I never had my hair cut. It’s just that I mostly, after the last time when to hair salon, had my hair cut by my friend in school’s toilet. So, girl’s toilet changed into hair salon once in a while when I needed to have my hair cut.

            The lady, whom I barely knew since I have never visited this salon, asked me to lie down. She wanted to wash my hair first. Hair wash? I remembered the regular hair salon I used to visit never wash the hair before cutting it. So, is it the right method? Oh, whatever, just go on with the hair wash. Wait! What’s kind of shampoo did she put on my hair? Come on! What’s the problem now? Sorry, I got big problem with shampoo. I can’t use any kind of shampoo, only  this shampoo I am using at the moment. You know, getting suitable shampoo for my hair was not an easy task. Maybe, I should tell you the story of our meeting,  I mean the shampoo and I. Well, I used to have this one particular shampoo. Its bottle is green. Is it okay for me to mention the brand here? Oh well, I’ll say it. It’s … it’s … Lord! I forgot its name, not even its first letter! I can’t seem to recall its name no matter how hard I tried to dig the information from my memory. Is it the MSG’s effect? I think I ate too much of it till my brain doesn’t work well.  Green bottle…green bottle…oh well, there’s always google. Let me check there. It’s rejoice. Why woudn’t I remember? Its name has something to do with happiness and bliss. Was I not happy using it? My eyes feel so heavy. I need to finish this writing fast. Ok, so I’ve been happy and getting along quite well with this brand. Until one day, that variant stopped showing itself on the rack. At that time I thought it’s just the matter of distribution. Then I realized they didn’t produce that variant again. That shampoo stopped to appear on the rack. I tried my luck with different variant, same brand. What do you know? It didn’t work. It gave me itchy. There’s dandruff on my scalp. I tried my luck with other brands, yet it failed. It annoyed me. Until one day, this shampoo I am using now, showed itself to me. Well, of course it’d been there, on the rack of the supermarket for some times. But I never bother to notice. Finally, after a long quest, I tried this brand and we are doing quite well till now. So, when she put on the shampoo on my hair, I got worried it might cause disharmony on my scalp and gave me dandruff. But she already washed my hair, I couldn’t do anything.

            Now, she led me to a chair. There’s a big mirror in front of this black chair I am sitting on. I watched how the lady’s hands separating my hair using hair clips. It was divided into four parts. She started by working on the front right side. She began to cut layer by layer. Once one layer was cut, she would unfold the hair and take another layer. The rest of the hair was clipped again. If she was done with both sides, she would check whether they looked okay. My hair began to fell every time she cut it. Some of them front hair flocked on my lap. I was wondering how it would look like. Would the lady be able to copy the hair style I showed her earlier? I could only wonder and keep watching her doing her thing.

            While watching my hair being trimmed down layer by layer, I noticed how fast her hands working on the cutting and unfolding and folding my hair. She reminded me of that Movie directed by Tim Burton, Edward Scissorhands. She looked so cool doing what she’s doing now. You might say that it’s not so extraordinary? Why was I amazed by the hairdresser? Let me remind you again that I haven’t been to hair salon for centuries.  Let’s go back to our hairdresser.  While working on the back, she asked me to bend my head down. As the hair fell down, it tickled my neck as it slid down.  My eyes kept watching how she was doing with my hair. The work was almost done. I could almost see the shape. She’s still going back and forth. Her eyes fixed on the mirror, checking the result of her work of art. Then she finally said it’s done.  Was it really? Hmm… was this the look that I imagined it would be? For your information, I am a bit finicky when it comes to hair cut. I can’t easily agree to what the hairdresser has to say. Actually I didn’t really like the edge near my neck. It’s still too long. My heart was in serious battle between keeping the dissatisfaction inside or just let it out. I chose to let it out. I told her if she could cut the edge a little bit short. She gave the look of “you know I am a hairdresser and I’ve taken my course and I think I know better than you about hair style”. She then gave her thought about cutting the edge. I was caught in unpleasant situation when I heard what she said. I felt like she saw saying, “you know I studied about hair cut. I am a bit insulted by the way to doubt my taste.” So, in the end I just said that I usually just cut my hair neglecting the style. I just wanted to have short hair since I was not good enough in maintaining long hair. She smiled and said another long line. To wrap up the conversation she said picking a hairdresser is like picking a dressmaker. If I can conclude she wished to say that to find the right hairdresser is not that easy. I couldn’t agree more.

            Arriving at home, I went straight to my room then checking my hair again. I still felt that something was not right. Was it the left side or the right side? To aid me about the accuracy of the picture with my hair cut, I asked my sister. She said it was okay. Yet, I couldn’t seem to make myself agree to her words. I gave up. Just went to the bathroom and washed my hair using my shampoo to make sure I would not get any dandruff. I found myself standing in front of the mirror and still checking the hair. I thought I knew what’s to be the problem of my dissatisfaction. Using my own scissors I cut the part that felt disturbing me. And then I was able to smile. Done!  Oh, I think I need help. Why wouldn’t I feel satisfied with that hairdresser’s work? Didn’t I think that she was cool? Is there anyone who feels what I feel about going to the hair salon? Don’t let me be the one, please. To make thing even sound weird, I am wearing hijab. So, basically only my female friends and family who will see my hair. Then what’s the use of being fussy? Do I need a shrink? Or am I having mental breakdown because I finally quit the job that I dealt for more than 14 years? Or am I feeling insecure about getting a new job and starting with new environment?  I can’t figure it out now. It’s the hair thing.

Leaving Wang Lee Hom And Just Went Out With Pidie Baiq

Hesitation struck me today. I couldn’t decide whether I would go or not. Actually, today’s schedule was set but since my sister didn’t feel like going out with me and the sky was cloudy, I got hesitated in going out. But since I had planned to go out, I got confused not knowing what to do. writing…I didn’t feel like doing it. Studying Korean…nah, I had done it 2 days in a row. Instead of doing nothing, I grabbed the towel and went to have a shower. Yes, finally I made up my mind, I had to go. Hurriedly got dressed and grabbed my bag then left my house. The destination, of course, Korean Mart. Yet, I felt like taking a stroll somewhere else. I had no idea but the journey tested my nerve. Several times, the angkot I was taking made lots of stops. The second angkot was like wise. I got really stressed out waiting for the car to make the move. At last, it started to move. On the way to Korean Mart, the car was hit by another car. It was very shocking. Of course, the two drivers got of from their cars and started to argue about the incidence. The passengers were left inside the car and of course, we had to wait again. It’s so annoying. As they finally finished their argument, we hit the road again. During my journey to Korean Mart, I kept reading a book titled At-twitter by Pidie Baiq. The book was good and entertaining. It didn’t need much time to finish reading it. His book taught me many things. The writing seemed very simple yet it holds a very deep meaning. I had to stop my activity for a while since I finally reached my destination. At first I decided to take another public transportation but as the raining was not too heavy, so I just simply walked to Korean Mart. Arrived at the store, I took the grocery and had a short chit-chat with the lady behind the counter then left. It was lunch time and my stomach felt really hungry. Therefore, I got into public transportation and hit the road again. This time I was on the way to BIP. The decision was made because I still could find food with decent price there. As soon as arriving in BIP, I went to the food court and ordered Malaysian drink and baso malang. While having my lunch, I continued my reading. In the middle of my reading, I suddenly laughed couple of times. Hopefully, people wouldn’t notice me. It was really great, reading interesting book while having hot delicious lunch. For several minutes I was drawn in my reading before deciding to leave. My journey still continued, I took a stroll for a while and then finally left the place. It was really fun and exciting day. I am glad I did go out today.

South Korea Backpacking Series

The Rebirth of the Adventure Wish

It began when my best friend Mia told me a piece of story from a book titled Edensor from Andrea Hirata that the old dream seemed to start reappearing in my head. “Ah, it’s like my own dream,” I said to myself. The old dream Mia and I used to have back then when we were still in college. Moreover, recently I have begun to have a fancy of reading books about traveling, such as naked traveler written by Trinity and Back Europe pack — Keliling Eropa 6 Bulan Hanya 1.000 Dollar written by Marina K. The desire to run into the unknown places grew stronger and stonger.

In her book, Marina gave lots of hope for people like me, who want to travel abroad but have obstacle in finance. She introduced another way of traveling that is through hospitality. I can save lots of money for transportation and accommodation post since I will be staying in the houses of the local people. I knew it’s my moment. I have to seize it. No more turning back. Hurriedly I told Mia about my plan of backpacking to South Korea. She looked very shocked for sure hearing this. But in the end she gave her consent and support. Alhamdulillah, I also gained the other supports from my fellow workers and my beloved mom. Along with the magic spell ‘Man Jadda Wajad’ I got from the book Negeri 5 Menara written by A. Fuadi, I made myself ready to start my battle in realizing my dream, an adventurous travel.


          The idea of visiting South Korea never came across my mind previously. My dreamland was England. The reason is very simple because I am a biggest fan of Liverpool FC. I felt like tasting the experience of watching the game while eating tofu from Sumedang. He…he…he…it seemed perfect at that time. But after studying Korean language and having lots of interaction with the Koreans, suddenly the interest to visit the country, which is now the home of lots of boybands, stumbled upon me. And as far as I know, South Korea hasn’t become the country target for the backpackers from Indonesia. So I thought it’s worth trying. Actually I was very curious about the Korean people. How are they actually? All of my Korean friends I know are very friendly and easygoing. Is it really the real nature of the Koreans?

Since I am studying the language, although in autodidactic way, I really wish to test my skill. Is there any satisfying progress? Will I be able to converse with the natives? I got really curious.

There’s a cultural event which I wish to participate. It’s called Chuseok. Chuseok has something to do with harvest. And there are also some cultural events to celebrate harvest season in my place. I was wondering do they have some similarities. That’s why I really want to experience that cultural moment. Therefore, I decided to choose South Korea as the beginning of my abroad adventurous travel.