You can smell my rage, right? Yup, I was a bit in rage. I mean why my status was considered like a disease. Well, actually I don’t need to be like that if I am really okay. Why was I so easily provoked by his comments? And wasn’t I the one who asked for his opinion in the first place? I just can’t stand reading his comments.
As usual he appeared out of the blue and we said hi. He asked about my condition and I told him about my current condition. “I was in daze,” I said to him. The cause was my writing and it made my head dizzy. He added that I should have made it simple. My reply was I would love to but I couldn’t stop my thoughts from pouring down. Suddenly he said that why I still remained single. Wait! What’s the connection between me finding hard to stop my thoughts which kept pouring down and being single? I better put his true words here but I will not show his ID.
HE: you may think of all condition to find the future half
HE: but there is no a perfection one for u
HE: my view about marrige…i think it’s a job to find the lalf who can fill in your rest of lalf
Me: what’s the connection with my stories i am working on? so i am here working on traveling book and the other one is about diary kind of thing.
HE: and then …should make a one together living
HE: someday u will get know
Me : hmmm
HE: here in korea, a lot of old single women
HE: they usually think they have a good condition
HE: buut other one don’t think that
HE: it’s an icon.
HE: they someday give up their self-confidence
HE: same icon
HE: but they get old a lot about then
HE: can’t help giving up
HE: another icon
HE: i see you getting old day in the pix after day
HE: sorry to say that
HE: icon again
HE: but i wanna give you a good advice as your friend
HE: so i dare mention about it
Me : so what’s the advice?
HE: try to find an ordinary one
HE: it’s best way
HE: who is open-minded and good mind
Me: ordinary one?
Me: define the word ordinary
HE: not rich , just normal appearance,
HE: and one who can goes with you till die
HE: but the one could be a special one according to your attitude of life
HE: and can support each other
HE: for the goal of lofe
Me: that’s exactly what i am looking for and it’s not ordinary
Me: cause not all men are ready for that in the end
Me: at first they might say like that
HE: i think you have a strict view on it
HE: so you can’t accept such normal conditions
Me: but when the wife demands for a little bit air to breathe, they will show you the obligation of a wife
HE: that can’t help it
Me : what you are saying “and one who can goes with you till die but the one could be a special one according to your attitude of life and can support each other for the goal of life” that’s want i want. Me : that’s what i am looking for and what i want
Me : the problem is will the man do as you said
Me: that’s what i am longing to find
HE: you may can’t find under the your view
Then he suddenly said he had to go said good bye because he would go out. He left me with a very uncomfortable feeling. Why is it so wrong being a single at my age now? Is it some kind a filthy plague? Do all women have to be married at the exact age according to your thought because as soon as you’re getting older man will stay away from you? Is it seriously an advice? What is ordinary man anyway? Why does your definition of ordinary have to do with not rich and not handsome? Do you feel insecure till you maybe classify yourself as the ordinary man according to your definition? Is it me who is having problem with his definition of ordinary? If he’s next words about ordinary man is “one who can be with you till you die and the one who can be a special person according to my thought and can support each other for the goal of life” I don’t think he’s just an ordinary man. That kind of man is extraordinary to me.
Oh, why did I get hassled by his words? Didn’t I say I am okay still being single? Didn’t I say I am cool and enjoying my life? Then why did I get annoyed by his words? Maybe I am not okay after all. I thought I am okay till everybody seems too worried about me. They gave horrible stories about being single on my age. “You know it will be hard for you to find man. You know you will be having hard time in getting pregnant, etc.” No, comforting words anyone? I always believe everybody has their own path in life. My course of life took me wondering around and blessed with having a chance to see some of my dreams came true. And because my course isn’t as straight as yours “university, graduate, get married and have children”, I have to work harder and own extra patience to be finally in the same course as yours. All I ask is for your understanding and support, please.